The Bayeux Tapestry: Uncovering the Hidden Meanings Behind its Penises
The Bayeux Tapestry, a renowned medieval embroidery depicting the Norman Conquest of England in 1066, has long been a subject of fascination for historians and art enthusiasts alike. While its grand battle narrative is well-known, the tapestry also contains numerous curious details, some of which are surprisingly explicit. According to Professor George Garnett, a historian from the University of Cambridge, the tapestry features a total of 88 penises attached to horses and four or possibly five attached to human figures.
Garnett’s research, which was recently featured on the HistoryExtra podcast, reveals that the depiction of genitalia in the tapestry is not merely anatomical detail, but rather a deliberate attempt to convey meaning. “The rest are just to demonstrate that the horses in question are stallions,” Garnett explains. “But the ones that matter? They’re associated with important men.” Specifically, Harold Godwinson, who would later become King Harold II, and his conqueror, Duke William of Normandy, are shown on steeds with noticeably larger endowments.
The inclusion of human genitalia in medieval art is not unique to the Bayeux Tapestry. As Garnett notes, there are several sculptural depictions of genitalia in sheela-na-gig carvings on medieval churches, such as Kilpeck Church in Herefordshire. However, these carvings typically feature female genitalia, whereas the Bayeux Tapestry contains only male genitalia, with the exception of one instance of profuse pubic hair.
The human penises in the tapestry are located in the borders, which contain decorative elements, beasts, and mini action scenes that don’t immediately relate to the main narrative. According to Garnett, these scenes are actually visual references to Aesop’s Fables, classical Greek tales that used animals to convey moral messages. The designer of the tapestry, who was clearly learned, used these fables to comment on the main narrative.
Garnett’s analysis reveals that the depictions of nudity in the Bayeux Tapestry are not random or crude additions, but rather a deliberate attempt to convey meaning. “Sexual activity is involved, or shame, and that makes me think that the designer is covertly alluding to betrayal,” he explains. One of the most striking images, the ‘Ælfgyva scene’, features a woman levitating while a cleric either caresses or accosts her. Beneath them, in the lower border, is a naked man with prominent genitals, crouching and apparently aping the stance of the priest.
The Bayeux Tapestry’s use of symbolism and allusion is a testament to the sophistication and learning of its designer. As Garnett notes, “The audience would have had to be very educated to pick up all the allusions.” However, it’s possible that the designer simply took pleasure in his own virtuosity, regardless of whether every viewer caught all the references.
While Garnett’s research has garnered significant attention, he insists that his work is not about sensationalism, but rather about understanding medieval minds. “The whole point of studying history is to understand how people thought in the past,” he says. “And medieval people were not crude, unsophisticated, dim-witted individuals.”
In fact, Garnett’s analysis reveals a world where humour, politics, and classical learning were intertwined. “The designer was an intelligent, highly educated individual, using literary allusions to subvert the standard story of the Norman Conquest,” he concludes.
Interestingly, there may be a 94th penis in the tapestry, according to Dr Christopher Monk, a Bayeux Tapestry scholar. Monk argues that a depiction of a clothed, running man with something hanging low beneath his tunic may actually be a penis. While Garnett disagrees, Monk’s interpretation is based on his expertise in Anglo-Saxon nudity and his analysis of the stitching in the tapestry.
Ultimately, the Bayeux Tapestry’s penises are there for a reason, and unraveling that reason helps us better understand the embroidery and what it can tell us today. As HistoryExtra continues to explore the fascinating world of medieval history, it’s clear that there’s still much to learn from this iconic artifact.
In conclusion, the Bayeux Tapestry is a complex and multifaceted work of art that continues to captivate audiences with its intricate details and symbolism. Through the research of Professor George Garnett and Dr Christopher Monk, we gain a deeper understanding of the tapestry’s use of nudity and genitalia to convey meaning and tell a story. As we continue to study and learn from this remarkable artifact, we are reminded of the sophistication and learning of medieval minds.
This article has been informed by research from HistoryExtra. For more information, please visit their website.
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